Wednesday, May 6, 2015

"What Am I Best At?" Understanding Your Central Focus

A client recently asked me,” With my design, what am I the best at?”

Usually I get asked that in a different way. For example, “what job would I be the best at?” or, “what kind of spouse will I be?” When this client asked me so simply, “what am I good at?” I realized we ask ourselves that a lot. My answer is: you are best at being you. You are the master of that because you already know the rules.  We get in trouble when we look externally for the answer to that question or for our worth (that means we are comparing ourselves to someone else). If you find yourself doing that, you will fail. If you stay with your "great" or your "best" self you already know how to do that innately so you will have success.

It's like ballet dancers in a dance class. Each dancer eventually becomes a graceful and talented dancer; they all just do it in their own way. As young dancers in class one might be very organized in her training with lots of lists to help her practice. Another girl might use her imagination to visualize the dream of being a prima ballerina to drive her to practice. Yet another is social and just can't wait to get to class each time to see her friends. Years later you can find each one of them under the lights somewhere receiving cheers and a big bouquet of beautiful flowers. So the question should not be “what am I the best at?” the right question is, “how best do I tackle being something great?” (No matter what that “something” is).

It all boils down to your Central Focus.

Your central focus describes what is important to you to accomplish and in what way for any event or task.

If you are SATURATED……….. The central focus is quality. Whatever you deem to be quality is at the center of everything you do.

If you are WHITENED………. Your central focus is social and change. You need a lot of both things to stay involved in what you are doing.

If you are GRAYED………….  The details are so important. They become your central focus and you feel lost without them.

If you are BLACKENED............ You are the "get ‘er done” type of person. Just fix it!

The Door Fell Off

We often use the analogy of the door to help you figure it out. If you were in a room somewhere and the front door just suddenly fell off, what would your reaction be?

All the Saturated people would stand up and announce, "the door just fell off,” and would immediately take charge and start delegating.

All of the Whitened people would jump up and say, "Wow the door just fell off!” and call all their friends and tell them to come (and bring cupcakes) to see that the door fell off. (In other words, turn it into an opportunity to socialize and have fun).

The Grayed people would start processing the details. Something like, "the door fell off and it is late. We need to get something done about it because it's almost dark, and oh yeah it might rain. I wonder if there is something wrong with the hinges...” and so on.

 Finally, all the Blackened people would just get up and put the door back on.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Remember that we all have all four types of personality in us, so we may relate to each in some way. But we lead out with our dominant one and that is where we find our central focus.

The next time you are thinking of what you are best at, stay true to your authentic self, no matter what it is you are doing. That is what they really mean when people say “just be you.”  

And always remember, no matter what you choose to do everyone is a masterpiece.


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